48 Funny Nurse Quotes and Memes to Joke About

Funny nurse quotes and memes provide humor for hard-working medical professionals and nursing students in difficult times.

They’re also a great way to connect with other nurses who need a good laugh after a long workday.

These humorous quotes present a fantastic opportunity to take a break and brighten your day!

Funny Nurse Quote 1
Laughter is the best medicine. Except when treating diarrhea.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 2
Yes I’m a nurse. No, I don’t want to look at it.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 3
Nurses can’t fix stupid, but we can sedate it!
Unknown
 
Funny Nurse Quote 4
I’m not saying I’m a big deal, but the government classifies me as essential.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 5
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 6
You know you’re a nurse if you can drink a pot of coffee and go directly to sleep.
Unknown
 
Funny Nurse Quote 7
Warning! Stop putting on your call light. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 8
I’m one shift away from developing a drug habit.
NurseTheory.com
Funny Nurse Quote 9
Full-time drug dealer. Just one of my many talents.
Unknown
 
Funny Nurse Quote 10
Nursing friendships are a different kind of friendship. Like I’ll hold the butt cheeks while you clean the butt crack kind of love.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 11
Human nursing. Like pet nursing but way more barking.
NurseTheory.com
Funny Nurse Quote 12
Being a nurse. It causes me to wine a lot.
NurseTheory.com
 
Funny Nurse Quote 13
Yes, I’m a nurse. I stab people for a living!
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 14
RN does not mean refreshments and narcotics.
Unknown
Funny Nurse Quote 15
How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they’re giving you an enema.
Warren Beatty
 
Too Many Drugs Nurse Quote 16
I can’t tell if you’re on too many drugs or not enough.
Unknown
Sarcastic Patients Nurse Quote 17
Sarcastic patients this way.
NurseTheory.com
Shake Your Meds Nurse Quote 18
If you’re crazy and you know it shake your meds.
Unknown
 
Gross Me Out Nurse Quote 19
I’m a nurse. The story has to be really good to gross me out.
Unknown
Charted So Hard Nurse Quote 20
Not to brag, but I charted so hard today!
NurseTheory.com
Work All Night Nurse Quote 21
Sleep all day, nurse all night.
NurseTheory.com
 
You Know Your A Nurse Quote 22
You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone places you never thought possible.
Unknown
Wearing Scrubs Nurse Quote 23
I love being a nurse, but I mostly love wearing scrubs. They’re basically professional pajamas.
Unknown
Restraints and Ativan Nurse Quote 24
I have restraints and Ativan, and i’m not afraid to use them.
Deborah Barnes, RN
 
Wearing Makeup Nurse Quote 25
You can tell when a patient is feeling better when she starts to wearing makeup.
Jenn O’Keefe
Favorite Pen Nurse Quote 26
Being a nurse is weird. I can keep a poker face though trauma but have a mental breakdown over losing my favorite pen.
Unknown
Nursing School Quote 27
Nursing school is a lot like giving birth… Once it’s over, you tend to forget just how painful the process really was.
Unknown
 
PAM Nurse Quote 28
Every nurse has a best friend, Pam: LorazePAM, DiazePAM, and ClonazePAM
Unknown
Hold My Beer Nurse Quote 29
Nurse. The first person you see after saying, “hold my beer, watch this!”
Unknown
Sharp Objects Nurse Quote 30
Don’t mess with me. I get paid to poke people with sharp objects!
Unknown
 
Survival Skills Nurse Quote 31
Nursing isn’t a career… It’s a post-apocalypitc survival skill.
Unknown
See How Your Visit Goes Without Me Nurse Quote
If i’m just a nurse maybe I should leave. That way, you can see how your visit goes without me!
Unknown
Bad Mondays Nurse Quote 33
You think Mondays are bad? Try working weekends, holidays and 12 hour nights!
Unknown
 
Always a Nurse Quote 34
Once a nurse, always a nurse. No matter where you go or what you do, you can never truly get out of nursing. It’s like the Mafia… You know too much.
Deb Gaudlin, RN
Hey Nurse Quote 35
It’s really nice when patients call me nurse, insntead of, “hey”!
Unknown
Lightbulb Nurse Quote 36
How many nurses does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it’s delegated to the nursing students.
Unknown
 
Dream Job Nurse Quote 37
Nursing would be a dream job, if there were no doctors.
Gerhard Kocher
I Charted Nurse Quote 38
I came. I cared. I charted!
Unknown
Family Members Nurse Quote 39
What would I do without the patient’s family members telling me how to do my job?
Unknown
 
Nurse Need Shots Too Quote 40
Nurses need shots too!
Unknown
Narcotic Nurse Quote 41
No, I will not rub your feet. I am a nurse, not a masseur. Can I interest you in a narcotic?
Unknown
Call Light Nurse Quote
Stop putting on your call light… Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Unknown
 
Save your Life Nurse Quote 43
We may not cook or clean, but we could save your life. That has to account for something.
Unknown
Laughter Propofol Nurse Quote 44
Laughter isn’t the best medicine… Propofol is!
Unknown
Happy Pills Nurse Quote 45
Be nice to me. I dispense the happy pills!
Unknown
 
Funny Doctor Quote 46
If I collapse at work, here is a list of doctors that I don’t want working on me!
Unknown
Overworked Nurse Quote 47
You know you’re overworked when you count going to the bathroom as taking a break.
Unknown
Call Light Nurse Quote 48
Call lights should work like PCA pumps. There’s a set specifc time interval allowed between each push.
Unknown

Over time this collection of funny quotes for nurses will continue to expand with new excerpts, selections, and quotations.

I’ll gradually incorporate new passages from hilarious nurses, random sources, and personal quotations.

In addition, I’ll include supplemental quote illustrations to ensure the page offers plenty of context to the humor.

Few things brighten up a nurse’s day, like some good humor with a bit of sarcasm!

Healthcare workers can always have more laughter, good spirits, and unpretentiousness.

As a result, sharing these quotes is an excellent way to keep them entertained throughout the day.

It’s also a fantastic resource for nursing students with a sense of humor and a desire to share hilarious quotes/memes.

Why Funny Nurse Quotes Matter

Healthcare will always be rewarding and meaningful for the people who provide patient care.

However, it’s also stressful and challenging, especially in emergency settings.

Nurses spend long days providing direct patient care and ensuring the hospital runs smoothly.

As a result, it’s essential to keep a positive attitude and find humor in daily work and life.

Amusing nurse quotes are a fantastic way to remember why healthcare workers do.

It enables them to deliver laughter that’s sometimes true and other times exaggerated.

It’s also a creative way to share humor with other nursing students and healthcare workers to boost their spirits.

Everyone deserves a good laugh, so why not share humorous nursing quotes to brighten their days?

At the least, you’ll get a chuckle from them and take their mind off of their daily stressors for a few seconds!

For those who enjoy great nursing quotes, I recommend reading a few other sources below.

Additional Resources: